


milk and cherries

by moriphyte



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 03:11:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7741072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moriphyte/pseuds/moriphyte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say you're not supposed to eat cherries with milk, something about a man dying after he ate them together on a hot day.<br/>You, personally, think that's bullshit, but hey, you want to die so maybe cherries and milk is just the thing for you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	milk and cherries

**Author's Note:**

> Waiting for my plane to come so I'm writing about my favorite girl

You stand on the sidewalk outside the local grocery store, grocery bag in hand, waiting to cross the street. Around you the air is heavy with heat making it hard for you to breath. Or maybe that's not it.  
You sigh, adjusting the straps of your red backpack on your shoulders and looking around.  
The people waiting around you seem to move in slow motion like they're trying not to drown in the thick, suffocating air.  
You're not even trying to swim anymore, you accepted that you were drowning a long time ago.  
You look down at you feet in their dirty red sneakers, running the hand that's not occupied by a grocery bag through your hair, dyed cherry red with shitty dye you and Vriska got at the convenience store and chew on your lower lip, enjoying the taste of your cherry lipgloss.  
Red always was your favorite color, and you always did love cherries.  
That's all you got at the grocery store, a bag of cherries and a jug of milk. The refrigerator back at your shitty little apartment is empty but right now you don't have the stomach for anything else. All you want is cherries and milk.  
They say you're not supposed to eat cherries with milk, something about a man dying after he ate them together on a hot day.  
You, personally, think that's bullshit, but hey, you want to die so maybe cherries and milk is just the thing for you.  
The light turns red the cars stop and you cross the street with the crowd of people around you, keeping your head down and slipping in your earphones.  
You've been listening to the Depression Cherry album on repeat all weak.  
It hasn't helped.  
You walk to your apartment in silence, just you and the far off sound of people yelling and cars honking through the music blasting in your ears.  
You turn up the volume.  
By the time you climb the dirty carpeted steps to your apartment and twist the key on your plastic cherry keychain in the lock, everything is drowned out by the music.  
"Vriska I'm home!" You yell as you push inside the apartment, closing the door behind you  
You pull out your earphones and toss your phone onto the cluttered kitchen table as you walk to the fridge  
You drop your bag on the counter by the fridge and walk into your dark room  
The heavy red curtains are drawn giving the whole room the feeling of being trapped inside a black cherry  
Vriska's mattress is empty and has been for the last week.  
You don't know where she is and she hasn't though to tell you but you think she's probably at John's  
It's not unusual to go days without seeing her but what makes you bite your lip is the memory of the fight you had right before she left and slammed the door behind her  
"You're fucking unbelievable!" She had yelled and you don't remember what you yelled back as blood dripped down the newly opened cuts on the soft skin of your inner arms  
You sigh and turn out of the bedroom, walking back into the kitchen to get something to eat  
You don't remember the last time you ate but the walk up the stairs has left your legs still burning and your hands are shaking so you think it had to have been a day or so  
You pull the carton of milk and the slightly sticky bag of cherries out of the bag and ball of the empty plastic bag, tossing it onto the messy kitchen table  
You pull open one of the cabinets, standing on your toes to reach, and take down a glass  
It's smudged with fingerprints and there's food stuck to the rim that you pick off before twisting off the cap of the milk and pouring it in  
You take the glass of milk and the bag of cherries, not bothering to even run them under water despite the visible grime on them, and walk over to the living room  
You take a seat on the floor below the window with your milk on the carpet beside you and the cherries in your lap  
You take a cherry out of the bag, looking at its shining dark red skin before popping it in your mouth  
You spit the pit into your hand and drop it on the windowsill above you as you fish another cherry out of the bag  
As you bite your cherries, tearing them apart with your teeth and staining them red, you take sips of your milk to wash it down  
You don't remember who told you about the cherries and milk, you think it was Dave, yeah that sounds like the kind of thing Dave would think to tell you, but all you know is there's a big part of you that hopes its right, that the combination of cherries and milk can kill you, because you can't think of anything you want more than to die  
That's what the fight was about, you wanting to die, or what you were doing because of it anyway.  
Vriska saw your arms after a particularly angry bathroom attack of the little red knife Dave gave you when you were thirteen and she flipped.  
You didn't hear most of what she said, you weren't listening, you never listen anymore, all she does is yell.  
She said she couldn't deal with you anymore and she left, that's the only part you needed to hear.  
You want to get up now, take your knife from its hiding place in the space between your mattress and the wall. You want to cut at your skin, watch the red blood drip down you pale skin and feel the pain that somehow makes you less numb, less sick, even though deep down you know what you're doing is sick itself.  
But you're too tired to get up, too tired to do anything but eat your cherries and milk and hope it kills you.


End file.
